GRADE 3
THE FRIENDS
Why don't we kiss?
What for?
What do you mean, what for? Because it's nice, idiot
Are you kidding me?
- No - No, no, no
Come on, it's nice
No, leave me alone
Come on, I don't bite
What's wrong with you?! Leave me alone
What a coward, you're so boring
Hey, I just can't be bothered.
Oh, the poor little fag can't be bothered Come on, man
- Are you being serious? - Of course
Okay.
Yes
- Okay? - Okay, okay, okay
Come on, you're not doing anything
Neither are you
Come on, close your eyes, like this
No, I like it with my eyes open
Alright, relax, like this
Come on, Matias, act like a man, will you?
Hey, it's not that easy!
But relax, don't stress so much
Okay, I'm trying to do something, okay? You're not doing much either
Hey, that's fresh, I proposed this
- Hey! - Okay...
You can't be such a coward, man Come on,
still want to, don't pretend you don't Hey, come on, you still want to anyway
Okay...
You want this, come here Look, put your hand here,
okay Put this one here...
But relax, relax
There, okay, go
And, was it good? Was it bad?
- Good - Did you like it?
Yeah, really good
Why are you looking at me with that face?
Tell me, was it nice, was it good, was it bad?
- So-so - Okay...
No! Man, no, it was really good... really good
No, man, it was disgusting, awful, no, no I didn't like it at all
How could you kiss me that roughly?
So slobbery, you even put your tongue up my nose
Disgusting
THE WEDLOCK
Good night.
- Gabriela - Mmm?
- Gabita - I love you
I, I, I think I'm not up for it tonight
- Are you asking me? - No, I'm telling you, honey
I'm fine here, thanks
THE EX Didn't I tell you that I bring you
THE EX to the door of your house?
THE EX I'm a gentleman
Yes, thank you very much
Well, it was nice seeing you
Yes, wasn't it?
Yes, I liked the idea of being able to get together, eat,
have a drink, and for it to be...
For it to be what?
Civilized
Do you know who's been missing you a lot lately?
The dog...
No...
You're lovely mother
No, not my mother either, no, no...
My family never wants to see you again, eh?
To my family, you're the bad guy
And to my mother, you're the slut
Oh
Who then?
Guess
You
A part of me
Your little forest
It was really nice
- Good night - Good night
- Well, thank you for everything - No, thank you. Bye
Bye
I didn't eat her, I didn't eat her, man...
Sorry buddy, forgive me
What are you doing?!
I'm like a turkey, sorry, it's that I have a small bladder,
you know me, besides,
I'm marking my territory
Do you want to come in?
No, I already peed it all, no need to come in
Do you want to come in and have a drink?
Really?
THE BIRTHDAY
I'm sorry, grandpa, excuse me. I think I have the wrong house
No, I don't think so
Oh, um, I'm Teresa
I'm looking for Armando
I am Armando
I'm serious. Does Armando live here?
You must be the lady I requested from Mrs. Telvina
Yes, I am. Oh, but grandpa, this is all bad
Why?
What you need is a nurse, or a priest,
or anything except me, I'm sorry
No, no, no. I have the money
Oh grandpa, with all due respect...
What is it?
It's just that I can't incriminate myself with you Understand?
One little wiggle and I'll kill you
Let's leave it for your next reincarnation, okay?
Reincarnation
I'll show you how I reincarnate it
- all into you, honey - Excuse me?
I want to enjoy life, even if it's for the last time
What a joy it is to see you
Why don't you come in?
Have the kindness. This way, come in
SHARED APARTMENT
Shit! What the fuck? It's all dirty...
Don't you like big dicks?
Give it all to me then It's going to hurt, eh?
You don't deserve this, kitten
No, it's okay...
What a mess, I can't believe this guy
Fuck me, Fuck me
mmm... But look at that, honey...
That garbage is out of line, for fuck's sake Come here, come
Harder! Harder! More!
Mmm, you're so hot. Hot
You're hot, honey
Hey dog, what's up with the garbage?
It's been there for four days, what's up?
Can't you smell it rotting?
If we're living together we have to share, man Huh?
Please, I asked you to do it, and no Over and over,
I tell you and you don't do a thing And this, huh? What's this, dog?
Shit, I get it... You just want to pull up a chair, easy,
and wait for the rats to multiply. So, you're an idiot.
- Hey... - Hey, that's not true...
Four thousand times, how long is this going to last?
Four thousand times is too much...
Mmm, too much, don't you think, honey? Cutie, hottie, mmm, you're the hottest
No, you're hot
You're so hot
No, you're hot
Yummy, kitty
Hey, what if we go to our room right now?
I'm going to get the whipped cream
Oh, what are we going to do, play with the cream?
What are you going to do to me?
Papayas and cream
Yum, hot.
And you, what are you doing here in your room, all by yourself, huh?
Nothing
- Aren't you going out? - No?
Oh, the froggy is laughing
Yeah, what are you doing here? You don't have class tomorrow
Go out man, go for a spin, a club, or anything
What is your mission on earth, dog?
Party! You're young, for fuck's sake
You know what I'm talking about, man
What are we here for? Scoring, right dog?
Go out for a spin, get some babes, huh?
Go get some pussy, a blowjob,
some ass What's up dog? Yeah...
Friday night, man Huh? Like me, man...
I'm going to eat her up
It's Tuesday, man
GRADE 1
Come on, cookie, don't get mad. Hey, hey
Mmm?
You're lasagna was amazing Is that your mother's recipe?
It's the same one I always make
It was really good, but a bomb
No, really cookie, I don't feel like it today
Well, when are you going to feel like it?
Well, I don't know. Do you want an exact date?
October 19h, 2009? Is that good for you?
Can't you wait for the weekend, honey?
Cristian, we haven't made love for 3 weeks
Hey, it hasn't been 3 weeks
No? And when was the last time? Cristian!
Well, I don't know
I don't keep a record of when we have sex, Cookie
And the answer should always be "last night"
Please, nobody does it every night
Do you think that the underwear has to come down as soon as the sun sets
and then we have to do the thing? Please...
Cookie
I know Gabriela, I know
- I love you - Me too
Give me a little kiss
Okay, okay, okay
Honey, I need orgasms Several orgasms
Well, order them on the phone, huh?
Ask for a special order of orgasms and if they're
not here in three minutes,
they're free Cookie... free
Mmm
Okay Chuni, let's do it
Seriously?
Let's to it. Let's do it. Cookie, I want to do it too, eh? Okay
Okay
I also feel like it, yes. Why would I lie if I also want to do it?
Okay, okay
What are you waiting for?
Well, I thought that you were going to start
Oh no, I always have to start, it's your turn
You never take the initiative,
you always lie back and wait for me to kiss your entire body
First of all, Gabriela,
I thought that we were going to stop saying "you never", huh?
It's like I have to have a lawyer to sleep with you
I'm going to have to call your brother Rafael
- and ask for an appointment - You can't be this straight-faced,
Cookie I swear, you always go and lie back
I have to kiss your entire body and you go:
"Oh, Cookie, that's nice, do that, do that"
And then you want to bone me right away
- That is not true - Yes, it's true
That is not true, do not raise false testimony
Cristian, it's true, it's true
I wish it wasn't true!
I wish we weren't talking about this whole thing
Come on, honey No! I swear
What's wrong with us?
Nothing's wrong, honey, nothing's wrong, huh?
You want to do it,
I want to do it You want me to take the initiative,
well... I'll take the initiative! Huh?
Is that what you want? Huh?
Do you want me to do the bad monster?
Do you want the monster? I'll do it, I'll do it
Brrrr, the headless monster that you like
Mmm ugly, he's bad
The immortal
Umm... excuse me
What is it?
Nothing, it's just a little dark down there
I can't see well, honey, I want to be sure...
...that I can get to business there, and,
umm, and make you happy. Okay
Okay, okay. Scary monster
What is it, man?
Easy man, easy
I came to ask you something
What is it?
I thought...
...that we could do something hot Hot, something hot, really hot
- What is it, man? - Did you see Inesita today?
Hot, eh? Gorgeous, man, a true babe.
A real one, man,
from Santiago, private school,
good shampoo, hot water, good language
What did we come to Santiago for, man?
From Arica, man, like brothers, together, huh?
So papa eats prime,
papa shares Santiago
I want to give you a chance, mmm?
Do you want to come into the bedroom with us?
- All three of us? - All three
Of course, man
Good, man, that's my dog
Let's see, wait
Okay, there, there
Yes?
Yes. No, no look, look, hey.
Cuec, cuec.
Like that, shhh, look, there, mm?
You can play here, look
Pumping, pumping
Here, like this
Hey...
Come, come
You know, I think maybe
you're not the woman
I think it could work,
but with another woman
I know you too much, Cristina, and I feel like talking,
- like watching TV with you - I'm the only one!
Do you think another girl
is going to want to go to bed with you knowing that you're a pansy?
No, man!
There are plenty of women who would like to be with a gay man,
and everyone knows that You know it
Well...
...you're standing in front of one
Are you into gay guys?
Cristina, you're into gays
You've never told me, you're into gays!
If you're into gays, you are gay, girl
No, man, no, I'm not into gays, I'm not
Too gay, too gay
No, listen to me
Now I understand everything
No... They give me a special morbid fascination
I think that, mmm, it could be nice. Couldn't it?
- You're gay, girl - No, man, I'm not gay,
I'm not interested in having anything else with you,
don't freak out
You're gay then
Look, the only thing I'm interested
in is watching you turn into a man that loves tits,
I don't know...
That loves pussy, clitoris, periods, chicks! Mmm?
Periods?
Sounds really nice, Cristina, really
Don't be gross
Gross?
Good,
wonderful...
It's as if the devil has taken hold of my body
Do you understand?
Yes
I can feel fire coming out of my schlong!
Schlong?
Grandpa, let's set something straight first
Don't ask me to do anything dirty, all right?
I don't do degenerate things. Agreed?
Agreed
Fantastic.
So, you told me it was your birthday
Yes, my birthday
And, how old are you now?
Well... I'm turning seven thousand years old
But it feel's like I'm thirty!
I feel like Johnny Weissmuller
And who is Johnny Weissmuller?
Who is Weissmuller?
He was the best Tarzan in the history of film
Ohh, Tarzan
He could call the elephants with a single shout
- Sure... - He'd go like this:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa...
Is something wrong, Mr. Armando?
Umm, excuse me, Miss
- Do you feel all right? - No, no, I'm fine
- Do you want me to help? - No, no, I'll be right back
Aaaa...
The blue pill, that's all...
Look at yourself.
Incredible, incredible
This is incredible, look,
This is deluxe wine
Deluxe view,
house, haircut... You've outdone yourself,
so modern
Yes?
Everything is so different.
Since when do you drink wine?
Huh?
Didn't wine give you heartburn?
Don't be silly, good wine never gives heartburn
Okay
Yes!
Did you know that wine has made me travel a lot?
- Get out... - No, really,
I think that I've practically been around the world a couple of times
More than the pope
Besides, it makes me look good with company
Come, come and try it, come
Oh, guests
Yes, I can't complain, I have a lot of company
Lots of men, huh?
Plenty of lovers too, huh?
- Are you jealous? Jealous...
For your information,
both men and women come to this house.
Luckily, the world didn't end after you, Gaston
What are these things?
No, they're berries
Berries, what do you need berries for?
For the champagne
Champagne... When have you ever drunk champagne?
Mmm... excuse me.
Look at this. Mmm, this is a table
This one won't make it past ten years, no way
If this table could talk..
it even smells like man
- Oh, yes? - Oh, no?
Let's see, I don't know, help me check
Come here, closer,
lean over
Hey
Inhale,
hold it, eh? Feel the aroma, air it
and tell me what it evokes to you
It evokes ass to me
- You like fucking around, huh? - What about you?
- You're so - So what?
So straight-faced. Cheers
But no one
does what you like
So?
Okay. David, my friend...
I know I didn't go much into details in your room
But I won't be in the mix itself, mmm?
I'm not going to be in the action, where the fire burns,
I'm going to be here, in my corner
I'm going to be watching, mmm?
I didn't tell you but the dice is thrown, man let's do this,
let's do this until the end
And David, I want you to know
that I've always thought that you were really cute
And I've noticed that in this last time we've been fighting a lot
because you're a slob
That bothers me but we're not going to go into discussions now because,
we came here for something else, man, we came here to have fun, get it?
And since I know that we haven't been getting along lately,
I thought, what better than close the year with something big, mmm?
With something important,
something that's going to be in our memories for the rest of our lives.
Huh? God willing, we're going to have our family,
and we're not going to do what we always wanted to do
And this is our chance, dog.
Besides, we've known each other since we were kids,
our first pubes, our first farts
Who passed you the ball so you could make that goal in senior year?
You did
Who punched Big Willy?
I did, man
We were together, I was your brother
It's your imposing rock,
kissed by the sea,
Symbol of glory, homeland and loyalty
Arica, always Arica,
Arica until death
Watch out, cops!
Okay, are you done?
I wanted to tell you something else, David
I've always thought that you... always...
Yes, cute, cute,
she thinks you're cute
We got it, but what we need is for you to bring out that animal inside of you
Besides, she's so hot,
so hot, look at her
She's so cute, kitty, come here honey
- No, you're hot - No, you, honey
- No, you hot - Give me kisses, darling
Okay, lots.
- Like that? - Hot...
- Or like that? - Mmm...
Do you want it slow or fast? Lights on or off? Tongue or no tongue?
- Oh, my mouse... - Hey come on
Mmm?
The thing is, um, there might be a small problem
What? What is it? Don't you like Inesita, man?
- She's smoking hot - No, she's incredible
Inés, there could be something that might make you not want to do this
- Something like what? - What?
That thing grows and grown, man
Are you washing is with saltpeter, dog?
Javier...
- Because of that... - Yeah...
But no problem, honey, we already talked about it
What's the problem? You're not going to make me look like a liar, now?
Why did you think I was so motivated? That's my rock! My rock from Arica!
Here it is, honey A round of applause for the rock!
I can't believe it,
it's huge
Besides, the door is already open, baby, what's the problem?
If you ask me, I'm really horny Can I start touching myself now?
Are you two horny or not?
Yeeees, yes, yes
So?
Oh yeah, okay, so...
That's it, girl, do something good for your life...
Come on, good girl, very good, yes, there
leave it there, hot,
this is just what I wanted
The only thing I'm going to ask is that you do it from every side
You already stretched out, honey, so don't worry,
breathe deep and move your eyebrows.
I've got to take a picture of this, there, smile
Do you like herb tea?
- How nice, thank you, grandpa - There you go
And do you know something?
I also have a cake
But that's for later, for mischief,
for behaving badly
Oh, grandpa, you're so sweet.
Do you know what?
It's a pleasure to work with gentlemen like yourself
Thank you...
What I would like though...
What?
Could I touch one of your titties,
it it's alright
Go ahead, grandpa!
That's what we're here for!
Excuse me Mmm
Oh holy God, wonderful
How soft and warm
My God
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
I don't know if I can
I really don't know if I want to either
Okay, Matias, hey...
We both know that if I don't get some action,
I'm going to end up falling for some asshole again
and go back right to where I started.
Come on...
Besides, you're the only man I can stand to look at
Who, by the way, is still clinging
to the two-timing fag who dumped him
Don't call him a two-timing fag
Oh, he dumped you seven months ago
He treated you like shit for six years, Matias
- Do you know what he told everybody? - No, I don't want to know
So many people have said so much...
...that'm really not interested
Well, if you're not interested
What did he say?
No, you're not interested - No, tell me
Oh, but you just said that you're not interested
No, but you said it, tell me, I am interested
- I tell you all the things your friends say about you
- Look, he said that you were a pain in bed
That you had premature ejaculation
That you were too gay,
that your dick was tiny
What hasn't he said?
I mean, he killed you socially
You've got terrible taste in men,
terrible taste
He also said that you were a bad dancer
Really?
Two-timing fag,
two-timing fag, fagget!
Listen to me,
let's have sex
Come on, Cristina
This way, you'll stop dragging yourself after your two-timing fag ex
and I'll stop wasting my time
All girls know there's a shortage of men
In this country, they're like public bathrooms:
if they're not taken, they're all fucked up.
No, no, I don't want anymore to do with men,
at least for another year, I swear,
no more...
And you should do the same
Okay, I know Lift that
All right then? What do you want?
Just jack off all the time?
Hey, so what, masturbation is great...
- It's underappreciated - No way, no
Cristina, it's with you...
I don't want to ruin our friendship
Oh...
Yes, it's the truth
Take it easy,
nothing's going to happen
Take it easy, relax
Look, sex is really simple
Mmm
Sometimes it has meaning...
- Leave that there! - Come on, I like your tie
Sometimes it has meaning, sometimes
you can stroke someone's face,
hold hands like this, you know?
You're crazy
Whisper sweet nothings in someone's ear
And sometimes, sex is just sex Huh?
- So what - So what?
And in our case, it's what we're going to do
Because that's what friends are for, huh?
Okay
Now relax
and have this drink,
because after that,
your old friend Cristina
is going to take the microphone
What?
Do think about other things when we do it?
Huh?
I don't know, it's like sometimes I don't feel you here with me
It's like you're somewhere else,
or thinking about another woman maybe
Cookie, I'm where I like to be
Okay, but I don't know... Sometimes I feel like you're
excited about something else, not me
Okay, sorry, go ahead
Are you annoyed that I'm not waxed?
What?
Maybe you're not so into it because I haven't waxed
Gabriela, can I go on?
- Okay, sorry... - okay
See?
Now it's like you're somewhere else
Cookie, you never look at me when I'm down here
What, all four times a year?
I'm being serious
Are you thinking about someone else?
Do you think about someone else when we do it, Cookie?
Cookie? Tell me
Okay, you can say it, I do it too
- Really? - Sometimes, just sometimes
And you do it too, Cookie, admit it
- Well, sometimes, not always - Ha! See?
Who?
I can't tell you...
Oh, so mysterious...
Who is it? Come on, tell me, Cookie
Chino Rios
The number one tennis player
No, I know exactly who he is
- You're angry - No, I'm not angry
Oh, Cookie, what do you want me to do?
I don't know, it's Chino
And what do you like about Chino Rios? What, what? That he doesn't care? That?
No, I don't know...
...I just imagine him naked
Oh, Cookie, what do you want me to do? Sometimes we're in the middle of it
and he just appears in my head, with his racquet,
his Polynesian tattoo,
his ponytail,
the goatee he grows sometimes
- Okay, it's not your fault, honey - Really?
Let's go on, okay?
- You're not mad? - A little bit
Let me make it better, here, a kiss
Mmm, nice, here, here
Are you scared?
- I didn't tell anyone - No?
What for?
In the end, for all these assholes, I was the one that blew it
No, I blew it
But you, Gaston...
...you went crazy
- It was our house... - Okay
Our bed...
And I was watching a Chilean soccer match with my godson, what an idiot!
Stop it
The dress...
...the wine, everything
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong? Look at yourself. Your tits are waving at me...
Besides, you're not wearing panties
You just don't get it...
This is style, okay, panty lines, they're ugly
And I like to be perfect, always
Okay. In case you get laid, right?
Yes, in case I get laid.
You're absolutely right. Get it?
Yes, I get it.
I get that you wanted to loose your panties in order to excite me
Yes, I was dying to see how your hands would run off without having a chance?
- You wanted to make me horny - Super horny
Stop, stop, stop, okay
- What? - You can't do that
You can't look at me while you're sucking me
Why not?
Because it's strange, it fucks me up
But you said that you liked it...
Yes, but it was different
With Alejandro it was "look at the hot guy who's sucking me off, he's
down there, and he's my man"
But when I see you, it's like what's wrong with Cristina?
What is she doing with my dick in her mouth?" and I freak out
Come on,
are you saying you don't like it?
You love it.
You don't like it? Am I doing it wrong?
Not like Alejandro, surely
No, but it's different, it's different
When I see you I see both of us when we were sixteen,
slipping into gay bar,
I can see your mom, your dad, barbeques at your house,
your potato salad
No, there's nothing wrong with your potato salad, I love it
But this shit is too real
Stop complaining, please
I'm doing this to get you out of that sick and suffocating relationship
which is hurting you, man
You should be thanking me
Cristina, in the best way possible, really
You've peed with door open tons of times,
you don't care, I don't care either, we've slept together,
we go to weddings together...
I've met all your boyfriends, we go to the gym together,
it's like my sister's sucking my dick,
really
Fine...
Okay... Let's skip this part
No, no, we can't skip it, no
The thing is, just don't look at me, really
No, no man, stop, stop
Too much information, you ruined it for me
Besides, what about the potato salad?
Fuck that, you're crazy
What do you mean, you ruined it?
Don't be so exaggerated, Cristina
GRADE 2
Rip it, take it off
Take it off, rip it, if you can't unfasten it
rip it, man, what's up? Come on, rip it, man
take it off, what?
Okay, it's off, it's off, okay
Yes but that was now, I was telling him to rip it
and he should have ripped it, come on, man
She likes it when you touch her hair
When you touch her hair
touch her hair, man
Touch her hair, touch it good, man
If I tell you that she likes it when you touch her hair,
then you have to do it
What are you afraid of? There's no monster
With confidence,
bring out the shark that's in you, man, come on!
I'm fine like this, man
Okay
Okay, um, sorry...
You noticed that I'm right here, mmm?
So I would like it if when I say something,
you do it, okay?
Because after all, this is all thanks to me. I'm directing, get it?
I'm not a mirror...
It's not like fucking in front of a dog, okay?
Okay, thanks
Anyway, it was never my intention to bother
You know, dog, I don't want to make trouble
I'm just saying,
I want all three of us to be happy Right?
Let's enjoy, let's communicate,
and we'll be fine I want it to be hot,
to be soft, to be easy, cool
I want us to enjoy this moment, mmm? This beautiful moment,
I'm going to be here I'm not going to do anything,
I'll be here Here I am, go ahead
Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you
Happy birthday Armando
Happy birthday to you
Bravo!
Blow them out
- No, no, now I have three wishes - Yes, the wishes
One has already been come true
Now I'm going to wish for the other two
Come on, come on
- I want to get it... - Shhh, softly, they're secret
I want to get it up,
I want to get it up
Let's go
Yaaaay.
Bite it, bite it, bite it
Who is that?
Why do you look at her so much?
She's my late wife,
who died from a heart attack,
5 years ago
Oh, poor thing
The doctor said that I killed her,
liar!
We loved each other very much,
but she gave me little sex,
not the sex that I wanted.
So when turned paraplegic,
it was like going back to our honeymoon
We made love day and night, all the time.
Maybe it was too much...
Maybe I gripped her too hard...
The things you make up, Mr. Armando
Right, are you going to eat cake or not?
Right, now, let's go
Aaah, no! That tickles
How nice, this is wonderful
I don't want to feel like an ass again
Everyone feels any way they can...
Do you really like me?
I really like you,
but this is just sex.
A fuck, then goodbye
Who gets it, gets it.
Look at them, look at how they've grown,
Remember daddy?
Please stop talking to my tits
It was provocation, to make them say hello to daddy, hello, hello...
For protocol... What? Okay...
Get off, get off
What is it?
No, what happened, you set me up
- What? - Did you plan all of this?
What, what. You waxed it all.
What the fuck is that? Huh?
I thought that you were going to like it
- It was my surprise - Right...
And my little forest?
I cut it down
Cookie...
We both know that I'm boring in bed
Oh, honey
I know that I can't turn you on that much...
So then I think,
what is this all for?
Look, I've never been the king in bed, Cookie...
I'm not like "Here I am", no, no,
no, I'm more boring
I know a couple of tricks and that's it
You don't have to say in either
But Cookie, honey,
honey, let's see... If you're not that good,
then why am I with you?
Because you're scared of being alone
What?
You're scared of being alone
You think that the only reason that I'm with you
is because I'm scared of being alone?
Well, a little bit scared
Oh, I can't believe it,
I swear, this is too much...
You really think
that we're together because
I'm scared of being alone
A little bit, honey
I can't believe...
No, then this is all a show, a farce,
I don't know why we're together then...
We should get a divorce
But honey, how can you say that?
Cookie, I love you
I thought that all of this was because...
I don't know, you didn't like me anymore
because I've been your only girlfriend
But I do like you, that's why you've been my only girlfriend,
because I love you, I've always loved you
Impossible, honey. Who did you go to your prom with?
With my Cookie
Right, and then when we went to college,
who did you go to the first party with?
With my super Cookie
And then, who did you organize the winter community service project with?
With you, Gabriela
But I like being with you, I like being with you
- No, it's impossible - How could it be impossible,
I like you What did we tell Father Domingo when we got married?
That we were going to love and respect each other all our lives
And that's what we're doing, that's what I want Honey,
I love you, I love you the way you are
Honey, I know that you've liked other women
of course, I mean, everyone likes other women
But you're good...
I know that you've never cheated on me
I know, but in the bottom,
you've wanted to because it's
boring to be with the same woman forever
But how did we get to this, honey,
you're beautiful, I like you,
I like you, honey, I've always liked you
Which part do you like best about me?
Oh, you know, your eyes
It used to be my tits...
But I also like your tits, but, oh...
Not anymore,
Cristian, I want this to work
But I also want it to work, Gabriela
we have to do something different...
I agree,
we have to do something different... Something like...
- Something like what? - Something exciting
Slutty Cookie...
What are you thinking?
I know that look
Something like what, like...
Like doing it in the car?
No, no, more
In the building pool, both of us naked, swimming with water all around us
No, no Cookie, ever more exciting
At your mother's house,
that's transgressive, that's rebellious,
and we can spill those perfume bottles of hers
No, no Cookie, I have the perfect idea
There, soft...
oh there,
hot, hot, hot... Soft, soft, there, squeeze it...
Bite, bite, leave marks on her, man
Leave marks, there
Excuse me
- What happened? - You taste, like...
Like what? Tastes like what?
No, I mean it's nice, but...
Oh, damn, okay, sorry, sorry...
The thing is I didn't have any perfume,
so I grabbed a deodorant in the bathroom and I sprayed myself
Easy, kitty, easy honey,
I'll taste it later and give you the final say, okay?
You just go on
What are you looking at me for?
Come on, easy, we don't want foreplay
Let's go right now, man, we don't stroke each other either,
I'm telling you
It's "hi, how are you", then it's in and we're off
Grab her, man, treat her bad, huh?
Treat her like a piece of meat, man, look
Go man, let's go, there, grab her strongly, there you go
I like this, that's good,
there, go man
Excuse me, give me a second, give me a second
Easy, easy, I just can't see well, you have to pull that there
Grab it, hopefully always here, excuse me, there
And if you want, you can go... What happened there?
It's fine, you're so ungrateful
How can you say that's bad? It's hot, man
You should be thanking me
Hickies are allowed, my man
That's it
Damn, I have to say everything
I want to show you this
What is this?
This was made by Levisteplisky
the tailor, the wanton suit
Okay...
Look at the silver,
it's wonderful,
look at all this
Look at this, stallion's hide, there you have it
And why do you have all this, grandpa?
Memories, they're good for me
I want you to wear this,
because I want to make whoopy to you with the suit on
And with what do you want us to do that, grandpa?
With what? With what?
Hello, hello, anybody there?
I can't see anything, there's no one there, grandpa
Sleepy time, grandpa, we're going to sleep
no whoopy, sleepy, come here, come to bed
Don't get all riled up, sleepy time, Don Armando
Here, put it on,
we're going to the most beautiful things in the world,
here, precious...
Hey, not like that...
Facing each other, huh? Look..
Like this
Come here
I need you to say something dirty to me
Something dirty, like what?
I don't know... Dirty and horny?
Yes, but say it now, say it, say it
We're going to have sexual relations
I'm going to make love to you,
and I'm going to rub my dick all over your body, okay?
And I'm going to hit you with my dick, I'm going to slap my dick on your face,
so you end up with dick-shaped bruises, Cristina.
I'm going to shove it in you so deep,
so deep that I'm going to see the tip of my dick
coming out of your nose, Cristina,
I'm going to give it to you so hard
that you're pussy's going to turn inside out
and you'll end up with two assholes
You're sick, man
You're a slut,
a dirty slut who likes to be fucked
Do you like dick?
Want some dick? I'll give you my dick,
ask me for it, Cristina
and I'll give it to you, I'll give it to you again
Say it, give me your dick,
and I'll give it to you
Shut up, man,
how can you say that to me?
You've liked fucking around since you were a kid Cristina
This is so nice
Suffer!
Suffer, Armando, suffer
There, there
Hire me?
You're too cheap for me
Lend me some money,
I'm being serious
I'm flat broke
Do it well this time
I'll do whatever you want, but pay me
We have to be patient,
because suddenly the shark's going to appear,
and he's going to be angry, darn it
Leave your fishy alone, grandpa, don't be stubborn
Let's drink, cheers
A riddle:
- a long and dry hag whose butter... - A candle
- You knew it? - Me and all Chile, grandpa
Darn, even that's too...
Look at this whole pharmacy you've got here!
No, these are the pills that I take
What are they?
Sure
Rue rub?
Rue, I have arterial hypertension,
low blood pressure,
I have stiff veins,
I have bunions, my legs hurt,
my varicose veins hurt,
my lungs hurt because...
Cookie, what are you doing, are you dressing up?
You know what, I like this
Come out soon, then I'm going to count to three, ones...
Okay, okay, okay
...two...
Okay, okay, I'm here
Surprise!
Easy, I know what you're thinking...
No, I don't know what you're thinking What are you thinking?
Well, for starters... here did you get that, Gabriela?
I won it at Cata's bachelorette party
Look, it moves
Well, then you...
- I put it on - Yes, it's already on
And then...
I put it in you, Cookie
Oh, damn
GRADE 3
Oh, nice, oh, oh.
Do whatever you want
Are you telling me?
Yes, whatever, what you want, what you want
Um, excuse me, I think that means she wants it up the ass, dog
What?
What, did you forget I was here?
No
Okay, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop
But I didn't mean I wanted it up the ass
Yes, yes, it's fine, don't stop, you were so close,
I saw that you vere finishing, I'm almost there, dog
- Go right ahead - Okay, take it off
But it's fine
Okay, but take your hand off, your hand it on...
Okay, but I wanted to feel the rhythm, dog
Take your hand off of my ass, please
- Easy, okay - But man, move away
Take it easy, easy. Honey, are you going to let him or not?
No, I didn't mean up the ass
But it's fine, you've already done practically everything
So I ask myself, if you say "do whatever you want"
What do you mean by that?
Yeah
Oh, I'm not going to do that
Honey, but you and I, us, they, them...
I didn't mean to say ass
But why not, honey?
It's different between us...
I mean, you're different...
he's different because he's...
I understand, honey
Dog, what can I say?
It's the same problem as always,
you're thing is too big, dog, you're hurting her
Oh, that
Was that it, sweetie?
Could we take a break, please?
The embarrassment you've put me through!
I loved you so much,
I bragged about you,
and showed you to the whole world
and told them about you.
But now you've failed me, ingrate wretch,
I don't want to see you anymore.
And you just lied there, you withdrew,
you lost your confidence...
That's an embarrassment!
These don't work.. these don't work!
And now as a punishment,
I'm going to give you the Mapuche potion,
it's right there,
and it must be ready
Let's see,
here it is,
that's it...
Now we'll see.
We know that sometimes you like me to put my finger up your behind
But Cookie...
What about the other day when we came back from Cata's wedding?
And you were a little drunk,
We got here, and you grabbed my finger, and...
Yes, but this is a lot bigger than a finger, Cookie!
We'll use some lubricant
Stop it, Gabriela, please
Really? You don't even want try it?
I mean, it's that...
Honey, you have a G spot there
that we haven't explored,
don't you want to look for it a little?
I have a what spot?
G
Where to you get all this from, Gabriela?
I read it on the Internet
No, actually Bea told me
Oh
Fine, it's okay, look, I'll just take it off and...
No, no, no. Let's see...
Why would you want to do this if you're not going to feel anything?
It's that...
It has a little vibrator,
here, for me
Okay, okay Cookie.
So,
- it's going to be nice for you too? - Absolutely
Angry?
Horny?
Hard,
but easy?
Hey boss, are you going to pay extra?
Yes...
Here you go, for you to entertain yourself, boss
Mr. Armando
Grandpa, I have to go, I have things to do
I don't think so!
What did you put on?!
This is the authentic, the one and only...
The chief's sable,
do you understand?
And it has it's own backbone.
How wonderful, no?
It's beautiful Look, it has a tummy, the devil
I'll have to buy it belt
so it looks thinner
Well, the moment of truth has arrived
Have you noticed that dicks are like cops?
Why?
When you need one, they're never there,
and when you don't want to see one there they are,
bothering you
You know, I think it's better if we leave it here
Yes, because this is getting kind of pathetic
and it's not working, but...
You know what, forget it. Don't worry, it's my fault.
I mean, I came up with the whole idea, but it's not happening.
- I'm leaving - Stop it.
How can you leave now?
Didn't you say that this was for getting over Ale?
But it's not working, Matias
Maybe the saying is true
What saying?
There's no such thing as a repented fag
Maybe it's because of an image I have of you?
What image?
A little bit of a lesbian
Lesbian?
You think I'm a bit of a lesbian?
Oh Cristina, all women are bit lesbian
They go to the bathroom together, they sleep together,
they hold hands, they kiss until they're grownups,
and no one says anything
And you've done all those things, girl
Look, man...
I like dicks more that bread and butter
If you can't get it up, it doesn't mean that I'm into pussy
Well, don't be that demanding either...
It's my first time, Cristina, what do you want?
No...
You're not going anywhere, okay
Sex is just sex
Did you say that?
Did or didn't you say that?
Yes
We're going to do this,
then you'll go back to being my best friend.
Now you're just a pair of tits
and I'm a piece of dick for you
We're going to do this together
We can have a great time
Yes
That took a while
Okay, I'm going to go like this, okay?
Okay, then I'm, no, no...
On your side, honey, here, like this
- Let's see, mm, what? - No, no, that would be...
Let's kiss, a little No, no, let's see
Let's go straight to the point
Okay, okay, I'll get ready
Okay
- There? - Yes...
Hold my hand, Cookie, hold my hand, there
Careful, careful.
And if I say stop? You stop
It's just going to be the tip
That's what they all say
Okay honey
Okay, okay
Happy birthday
Why me?
Yes, well, Inesita and I
want to move somewhere else. We're going to look for our own apartment
Sure, soon, yes
And I wanted to close this relationship in the best way possible, man
You understand?
Besides I knew that you were well equipped,
and I needed someone who could really, you know, do it
Yeah?
Of course, man. And you and I have been
living together for a long time now
- True - Yes or no?
- Yes - Of course we have.
Have we had problems? Of course we have
Do we hate each other sometimes? Of course we do.
But I love you, man. Do you love me?
Of course you do, see, there's love in between
I watched that anaconda grow up, dog
I watched it with my own eyes, huh?
We know each other since we were kids, dog
Yeah, beside, Javier has always thought that you were really attractive
What?
Attractive, like, just like that, attractive, cute
Like you, dog,
look, triceps, biceps, guiceps,
pectorals, abdominals,
Just look at that huge thing
Damn
I mean, excuse me, but this... I think it's too much,
it's a gift, man
Look, check this out, dog
Honey,
this guy can hail a cab without hands
You're telling me
But clearly, it's a gift, right honey?
Not everyone has this gift
He has a gift, yes, I could feel his gift
He's hot, tight, abs,
tan, soft, nice, cute
But I was thinking about you the whole time
- What? Really? - Yes...
What? Were you really thinking about him?
- I love you Javier - I love you, honey
But I want you
But I want you even more, to the infinite
And I want you to do everything to me
- Everything? - Anything
- Right now
I can do anything you want,
I can hurt you
Watch out, bad girl, I can hurt you
Hurt me
I'm going to rip your hair out and leave you bald, honey
I'm going to make love to you,
what you dreamed about when you were a little girl,
Yes, destroy me
Excuse me, I'm leaving
No, no, wait, where are you going? Easy
But I thought that you didn't need me anymore...
No, no, you don't have to think about anything
Dog, take it easy
Man, we're just petting each other a little
It's literature,
it's poetry, dog.
Let's see, let's make it simple:
who takes the trash on Thursdays, you or me?
You
Daddy monkey.
Who cleans the toilet every month, you or me?
- You - Say it louder
- You - See, that sounds nice.
And now I'm asking you for a favor,
and you don't want to do it
Yeah, that's not nice
Not nice, man, not nice.
This is a home, and you have to make your contribution
Your imposing rock!
See, we're on the same page, easy!
Oh, this thing vibrates, so nice
Oh, careful, careful. Is it all in?
No... just half.
Do you want some more?
All the way, you say?
No, just until your G spot
- To where? - Your G spot.
Oh, oh, did it hurt?
- Sort of - Do you want me to pull out?
No, no, stay there...
Oh, hey, I felt something...
Careful, careful, slowly, there, I felt something
I don't know
if it's my G spot but there it is...
Look at me
Lift her leg up, dog,
lift her leg up, bend it back, even more, even more...
just bend it, there
I'm there...
I'm coming now, oh, oh, oh
I'm in the right field, oh man, ah...
this is what it feels like in paradise,
give me more, give me more, give me more,
Ah, mama
How did you do that, man?
Wonderful, man...
Oh nice,
it was incredible, thank you honey,
I'm done now,
so nice, I'm a new man.
I'm done guys, stop whenever you feel like it
Guys, hey,
I'm here.
Are you done yet?
Now nice...
How nice that it's you
Yes
Your friend,
who else?
I've regained the soul I had when I was a girl
And I'm only getting started
Oh, it hurts...
Ouch, it hurts!
Help me out, man
Whatever you want
Hey, wait, now,
make me a cushion,
Come on, hurry up, man, hurry up
Is that good?
Hurry up, don't hurt her
If he does anything bad, tell me
Okay, it's just that it was hurting
Right, it's okay now
Careful, dog...
Slowly please...
It's not that necessary... Guys,
don't get into it again, what for?
Yeah, nice
Come on, do you want anything else? Juice...
Oh, oh stop,
Stop, Cookie, please
Careful, careful, careful
Don't move, careful
Stop, Gabriela, stop
I love you, Cristina
You're perfect, you're perfect...
The best, the best
Poor thing,
this is hard
No, wait, wait, oh..
Here it comes, it's coming, it's coming, oh...
You left this much juice, man,
what's wrong to you?
You think you're smarter than me, you fucking big dick ape?
Who are you calling big dick ape?
Come here, man. Let go, let go
No, no, what's wrong with you?
Stop hitting him, noooo
This is my fault...
these things happen to me for being dirty...
You're touching me, man
Yes, hello, good night, I need a radio taxi
Peñalolén do you have anything close by?
15 minutes, fantastic, yes, that's good
Hold on a second...
Where are you going?
Juan Moya
You're living with your mother?
Juan Moya and Irarrázaval, yes, thank you
No, you're too much...
What did you say? What, what?
Nothing! We have 15 minutes left to celebrate
One question,
- do you have any money? - Yes, I do
I mean, not here, but I'll stop by an ATM
- Right - What, right?
Nothing, the job was so-so but I'll pay for it anyway
I'm your boss now
No, no, get out
- Hey, don't act so proud, please - What, proud?
Cheers
You're so hot
You looked really pretty
You're hot too
When I said...
and then you said...
Were you being serious?
Oh, shut up, okay?
No, no, you shut up, I need to know
I need to clear up what happened here
No, it's embarrassing, I don't want to
No, no, Cristina, I want to talk,
I think it's important
No, no Matías, it's embarrassing,
besides, we can't talk about it if we're both dressed
Then what's the problem? Again
Oh, really? Let's go
But if you're too embarrassed to talk, then, what can we do?
do you really like my potato salad?
I do, a lot
But you have to make it more often
Of course, sure
I said softly
I said red light, Cookie,
I asked please
Oh Cookie, it felt so good, I swear, I couldn't stop
Besides, it looked like you were also enjoying it
Honey, that's not the point
Oh no.
What's the point?
The point is that when a woman says stop, you stop
Cookie...
Okay, but we were doing this to connect with each other,
to do something different,
and you were thinking about
God knows what probably a tennis player or something
Cookie, look at me
Did you enjoy it?
I'm not talking about that
Honey, you came like an explosion
How could you know, you were like in another world
No, I could feel you
Really?
Really... when I was in you,
I could feel everything, even when you came
Well,
it wasn't that bad, I mean...
And you were crazy Cookie, I'd never seen you like that before,
I loved it
Mmm, how embarrassing...
And you were making some pretty strange noises too
See?
See I'm not that boring
Muffin, we had a great time, honey
Yes, muffin, honey...
- Can we? - Yes, yes, help me
Armando? What are you doing for your saint's day?
I don't have any plans
Whoopy for saint's day then, when is it?
- January 23rd - January 23rd
Hey, we mustn't miss each other for the national holiday,
you know, I could get a costume that you're going to love.
How's that?
Whoopy for September then!
September 18th
Hey, and for Christmas, you'll be alone, right?
Generally, a nephew comes to visit me on Christmas
He leaves around 10 o'clock
Then I'll be here at 11 sharp, Armando,
No, I like to go to Fausto after that
The things you like to say...
Did he do anything to you? Did he move something inside?
Did he pierce your lung?
Are you all right?
Can I ask you something?
Do you think you can be happy with me
- after having that huge...? - Oh, honey, you're perfect for me
Perfect
Okay,
perfect, I believe you
Yes. Fantasy accomplished, honey
- Very accomplished - Congratulations
I think that now, then,
it's my turn
What do you mean, it's your turn?
A little friend, honey.
Brunette, to make a difference, all I ask is for her to be from Santiago,
lot's of smog, bus pass, that kind of thing, you know?
Okay, and I'll be outside, and direct you...
No, no, all three of us, honey, in one go
Oh, all three of us together! Then I'll bring a toy...
No, no, no toys, dammit, you get used to this one, just this one, hear me?
No, no, I'll give it to both of you
What's the problem, don't you trust me?
I can see you
What? I didn't do anything
I can see you, watch out
Ripped and Corrected by PANGI www. clan-sudamerica. net